I’m not ready for a serious relationship. I just want to have fun, enjoy some male attention, and start figuring out what I want in a longer-term relationship. Figure out how to date again. Enjoy the freedom and light-heartedness that comes when you can just have fun, and not care (as much) if things don’t pan out after a first date or two, or a few chats back and forth.
The last time I dated smart phones didn’t exist (heck, most people didn’t have cell phones), George W. was in the White House (I didn’t vote for him), and the online dating phenomenon was still in its infancy. I was an early adopter of online dating, having met my ex on a popular dating site, so when I was ready to start dating again I knew I’d be using online forums as a way to meet guys.
I sent “Aaron” a wink or photo like – don’t remember. Does it matter?! Probably commented that I liked his smile (a line that has provided some success). He winked/liked/commented back. We started messaging via the site and after a few days, exchanged numbers. After he gave me his, I did a directory search to see if I could learn a bit more about him, which I did. Combined with what I knew about his work and his first name, I was able to verify he was who he said he was. LinkedIn’s great for stuff like that. Texted back. We talked on the phone for about an hour one night and decided to meet in person.
We live about an hour apart from one another so we met at a restaurant about half-way between. He was late. He did have the decency to call, but this was after the time in which we were supposed to meet. It sucks being kept waiting, especially when it’s your first date in over 14 years.
“Aaron” finally arrived and we were seated at a table. We made small talk while deciding our drink and food orders. And by small talk I mean little, meager, paltry, miserable, piddling, teeth-pulling chat. I hate being the one to carry the burden of a conversation. My ex and I had a lot of quiet meals together. The last thing I want is to be with someone for whom talking is not a strong suit. I asked questions that required more than a one-word answer with little success. He barely asked me any questions. It was the longest hour of my life.
We finally made it through dinner (the food was divine, the date a dud). “Aaron” walked me to my car, we hugged (which did feel nice, but don’t know if it was a chemical connection, or just the fact it had been ages since I’d had any type of intimate contact). We had a few text exchanges, attempted to talk on the phone (“Aaron” initiated these exchanges) and things just fizzled. Not that there was much fizz to begin with.
But I did it. I broke the ice. I’m dating again. And in spite of a not-so-great first date, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next. I’ve emerged from my cocoon. I’m free. Free to spread my wings and fly.
Oh, and “Aaron”? Sent me a text the other day saying “hi”. I ignored him.