Bathroom selfies

I get the draw of taking a bathroom selfie. Use the mirror as your canvas and you can easily get a waist-high shot so the guy can show off what he’s got. Or that his self-described “toned and athletic” is more like “a few extra pounds”. In some cases you’re thinking “dang” and in others “my eyes, my eyes!” (and that’s with shirts on).

A bathroom selfie can give one an idea of how a prospective date decorates, be it a tile shower or shower curtain. Wallpaper or paint. More products that we use or a clean counter. But there’s one thing that bothers me to no end: a toilet.

I have seen way too many toilets in profile pictures. As women, we shouldn’t have to see any. And it’s not just bathroom selfies taken at home. I’m sharing my top 5 worst “bathroom toilet selfies” that I’ve seen to date.

5. Unambiguous bathroom location, not at home
Not a crime as far as this type of selfie goes. You can’t see a toilet, but the viewer knows you’re not at home. It’s just…weird. Maybe you’re at the gym or work, think you look fly, and there’s a full-length mirror so you snap a quick one and without thinking, post it as your latest profile pic.

4. Home (seat down)
It’s easy, convenient, and you’ve just spent 20 minutes primping. Lighting is good. You’ve got your “I’m so sexy” look perfected and think you look hot. You might indeed look hot, but that seat in the background is distracting. But it could be worse, so we swipe based on factors such as how you look or what’s in your profile. Or how it’s written (but that’s another topic for another day).

3. Stalls
You can’t hide the fact you’re taking a selfie for a dating profile in a public restroom. It’s not appealing, but it’s pretty tame as far as bathroom toilet selfies go. Maybe you just had an awesome workout at the gym and you’re in the locker room, wanting to show off those incredible arms.

2. Home (seat up)
Please make sure your seats are down before embarking on taking a bathroom selfie. As women, we know that most guys are not good at putting the seat down. It irks us to no end. We might fall in as we stumble in to a dark bathroom for a sleep-interrupting pee. But we don’t need a reminder or need to know your W.C. seat habits before we’ve even met you.

1. Urinals
WTF, man. Seriously. What are you thinking?! It’s not bad enough that you actually take the picture of urinals in the background. No, you have to go and post it as a profile pic on a dating site. Doesn’t matter how hot you are or how well you write, it’s a major turn-off. Makes us question your decision-making abilities, and that is never a good thing.

So guys, please think twice before taking a bathroom selfie. You could be missing out on a great catch. We’re just too grossed out to even give you a chance.

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